Two Hard Words.

Jesus Christ. For me those are two of the hardest words to say.  It's easy to say God because it's universal and totally accepted.  I can say God all day long and no one cares because it can be anything, any religion, whatever.  I've come to fear Jesus though. I can't say it because there are people who have perverted him in such a way that I don't want my association with him associated with their association with him.  I'm talking about the people who have so ripped to shreds the true identity of Christ that when they say Christians they mean people who say his name a lot.  These people love Jesus and hate others, they say they are the good samaritan and instead they are the robbers who left him for dead.

These people are some of the pastors I've heard (none of my pastors, just others), Christians, and self proclaiming Christians.  They stand for eveything Christ is against.  Bigotry, idolism, racism, hatred, greed, lust, fear, and perversion of the gospel I hold so dear.  At one time I was one of them.  I claim it, I said Jesus in the same sentence as shit, I said and did things that so anger me now that I would love to go back and teach myself a lesson.

Some of us, myself included have showed the world everything Jesus is against instead of everything he is for.  So today as part of a not-so-new year's resolution I want to say Jesus more.  I want to recognize my savior by name.  Maybe with time I can say Jesus and show others that the Jesus I serve is radically different than they might have previously been shown.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/30/2005 09:06:00 PM 2 comments

Purge.

Purging is getting rid of the excess.  It's taking what is not needed and just stripping it from it's source.  I love to purge.  Not in some bodily function sort of way but to purge in life.  I constantly empty the trash can on my computer and am always looking for files to delete.  I always am thinking of what I can not eat, as to purge my body of unnecessary things.  It's a mindset and impulse that just takes over.

When my demons come back to haunt me at times and win I purge.  If I've done the one thing I've sworn not to do then when I take a shower it's this physical outgrowth of my internal guilt.  I'm physically trying to wash off the stains I've created.  The hardest part of being a Christian is there is no feeling of purging in our lives.  There is nothing I can do to purge the sin from my life. Only God can take those things away, only he can extract the sin and guilt from me.  Thats hard and relieving at the same time.  There is nothing I can do to save myself.  Only someone who is perfect can pick me up from my cyclical life of sin and purging.

This is just a little taste of a new favorite band of mine.  Read the words and just think about the implications of what is being said.

If God was on the radio i know he'd say to thee, love is spiders on the edge, and we're hanging by a thread, connected to the other end of this twisted frequency i've spun, but i don't care, i'd be happy if you'd share your web with me.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/26/2005 11:39:00 PM 0 comments

Today...and yesterday.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/24/2005 05:35:00 PM 2 comments

Now.

I'm going. I can't publicly say where but I'm going on a mission trip. I found out that due to security risks I'm not allowed to publicly say where I'm going so I'm sorry for that. But I've been accepted. It's going to be about 1500 + airfare which will be considerably cheaper than Romania. I'm excited about it. The trip says it will be physically demanding in many ways and that makes me even more excited. I want to write more but I'm addicted to lost and I want to watch it until 4 in the morning. So until tomorrow.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/22/2005 09:55:00 PM 0 comments

Another Days Worth of Life.

Catalyst has been a great experience for me. I'm not changing churches but I thought I'd mention I love it and that it has changed me in many ways.  One thing is that distinguishing insiders and outsiders is a new concept for me.  At Catalyst we look out how people outside the church would feel then we evaluate if having such a ministry or event would actively move people towards small groups and if not we most likely don't do it.  I love it, there is a methodology to the way things are done.  It's not this fly by the seat of your pants kind of thing.  The service schedule is down to the minute, there is no guessing what comes next, everbody knows.

I think that small groups are integral to Church life and are a thing of beauty.  They should be a part of every church.  That's why it was sad to hear from Dorr the other night that the men at First Baptist didn't have small groups anymore. The whole program died. IT DIED!!! A program and functioning part of the church died and no one cried foul?  If I lost my small groups I'd start one myself or something.  There is a community thing that should go on in a church.  For the sake of your convictions and anything spiritual you should fight to have an intimate group of people to share your life with and to just be you.  If one of the men from one of those small groups is reading this, call foul.  Start your own, do something.  Don't let possibly the most important function of a church die.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/19/2005 10:53:00 PM 0 comments

Bruise the halls.

I want to see a fist fight, not just any fist fight, but one over a toy or something.  A good slug fest beat em' up kind of thing. Why, because I'm tired of all this seasonal we love each other stuff.  I think Christmas should be banned or something.  It's become this super holiday with all these people running around getting stuff but forgetting why they are here.  Look Christmas is not about gifts or anything like that, it's about a savior, sav-ior, SAVE-YOUR (money). Jesus is an afterthought as people go through daily stocking up on gifts that will be returned because the one who was given it doesn't like it.  We should next year rebel against the system or something and have new holiday in the summer that is a celebration of Jesus's birth (he was most likely born in the summer you know).  We should then at Christmas just enjoy the time off.  Enjoy the whole break of school and stuff.

This isn't really some down with the system thing, I'm more nauseated with all this apathy towards true Christmas.  Also, a boycott has begun over the "happy holidays" crap.  I can't decide whether it's another stupid thing culture has done towards Christians and we should take it or if we should fight back. I'm voting on the take it but there is a point where we need to fight back so I'm not fully sure on that one.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/17/2005 11:15:00 PM 3 comments

Nobody Loves Me.

i can always tell a liar
and i always know a thief
i know them like my family
because brother i'm the chief
i'm a dangerous crusader
because i need to tell the truth
so i'm turning over tables
i'm my own living room

then i might nail indictments up
on every door in town
because it's not right or safe to let my conscience down
so i don't care if...

nobody loves me, nobody loves me
nobody loves me but you

the truth is never sexy
so it's not an easy sell
you can dress her like the culture
but she'll shock 'em just as well
because she don't need an apology for being who she is

and she don't need your help making enemies
so i don't care if...

i'll do whatever it takes to squeeze us into this wedding gown
i'll say the words that rattle your nerves
words like sin and faith alone

posted by shark_maul @ 12/16/2005 11:20:00 PM 0 comments

Musing(s).

posted by shark_maul @ 12/14/2005 10:06:00 PM 0 comments

India here I come. I was officially approved for mission trip this summer, so I'm going. There was a minor discrepancy about whether I could go on the one in India because it might be for sophomores, juniors, and seniors only. She said at that point I'd be a rising sophomore so I might be able to do that one. Well either way I'm now going somewhere! Also King Kong tonight with some friends @ midnight!

posted by shark_maul @ 12/13/2005 05:22:00 PM 0 comments

Today was a good day, long but good. I worked all day then came to Shannon's and we went to Summer's (his daughter) choir thing and he was cynical the whole time about how they didn't talk about Jesus but they did talk about other religions. They prayed but apparently didn't mention Jesus, I didn't notice. For a long time I've been a staunch defender of no public prayer in schools, I still hold fast to that. But the issue now arises, where do we as Christians have to say ok too much we will not let it go. I'm not sure yet what I think because it maybe that it is not that big of a deal or it could be a great indicator of where life is headed, I don't know. Our society is post Christian now and it's taken me a long time to come to grips with the fact of that. Somehow I want to accept it as me but think it should be different for everyone else and they shouldn't whine about it. I'm wrong thinking that way but I still do. Another thing that was so well pointed out to me last night was something about money and Christian media. I hate spending that sort of money on things that are so expensive. A 30k camera and 60k center project HD screen and setup. That's a lot of money and I'm thinking missions and how much it could do, but Greg said, "your yourself said Christian media sucked and it takes money to make it not suck anymore." It hit me so hard. I think now I have to think in a mindset that isn't cheap that says, ok spend the money. Also heres a great link about some of the technical achievements North Point Community Church has made.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/12/2005 10:37:00 PM 0 comments

Buckhead.

As a group of media people for Catalyst we went to Buckhead in Atlanta today.  Buckhead is a campus church of North Point which we recently became a strategic partner of.  I saw the whole thing the whole shebang the growth it all.  The church started in 2001 and now has 4 services and packs them all out.  I got to sit up in the multi hundred thousand dollar video booth and look in awe at all the motion and crazy stuff.  I wonder if all the stuff is worth it but I guess to make good media it costs money and that is what it takes.  I'm really tired so I'm gonna hopefully continue this tomorrow.  Good night guys.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/11/2005 11:20:00 PM 0 comments

American History X

posted by shark_maul @ 12/10/2005 06:20:00 PM 0 comments

Unrated.

The big trend right now in DVD movies is UNRATED!!!  It's all about more nudity and sex or just something you didn't see in the theaters.  The few "unrated" movies I've watched were nothing more than a little bit of violence here or something like that.  I will say I don't think that it would be true in the same way with American Pie.

The great downfall of Narnia in my opinion was it had to cater to kids. I understand why and support it but I wish for a unrated version on DVD.  There were parts that lacked the real feel of the magic and war because of the lack of blood and gore.  There were one or two parts that were incomplete without the reality of death and blood, I felt a little gipped (jipped?). 

Recently a church in Germany made a calendar that depicted erotic scenes from the bible.  It was a youth fundraiser (yes youth).  When I thought about it I like the idea in that it is uncensored, it sees the bible in it's true form.  There were NC-17 parts of the bible and they must be acknowledged.  Now not in the form of a bunch of lewd high schoolers being naked for a calendar but we don't need to gloss over the true reality of blood, gore, grace, and sex the bible offers.  I wish I knew as a kid that David cut off Goliath's head!

When we approach the bible, approach it with the true story in mind.  Look at it and see how it really happened.  We need to see the story for it's true reality so we can grasp it's true meaning.

Also here is a link to some funny videos about the misconceptions of Jesus.
vintage21.com
Click on the movie projector and at the top click the number 2.  There should be 4 videos. Enjoy.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/09/2005 11:29:00 PM 0 comments

Narnia.

Narnia Good. Me Tired.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/09/2005 02:52:00 AM 0 comments

May the Masses Rejoice.

Actually there are no masses to rejoice just the mass of me. So I'm going to see a midnight showing of Narnia tonight I don't care if I go by myself screw it I'm going. So hail to the great allegory of Christianity and Christmas movie marketing. 

posted by shark_maul @ 12/08/2005 12:32:00 PM 0 comments

Update.

No real writings today.  School is done and it really bites.  I miss the people and hanging out and stuff.  I guess at this point it is not an issue because it's not really over but it still bites because I enjoy hanging out with everyone.  Well so long for a bit my friends.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/06/2005 10:51:00 PM 0 comments

Done.

It is done. The first semester of college is over and it came and went faster than I had hoped.  Things have been great. I love where I am in my life and walk.  Things are really going well.  But I look back over the semester and realize how much I've learned about me and others and how life plays out.  I hate to see people leave school and not be able to come back but it's a reality of life. I've loved it and can't wait to love it some more. See ya'll on the flipside.  (o' I'll keep posting but I'm justing saying bye to like the 1 NGU person reading)

posted by shark_maul @ 12/06/2005 01:09:00 AM 0 comments

Silent Screaming.

When I was in Romania we had to give our team a name and I had the idea from an art project to name our team the silent screamers.  It was a play on words that dealt with prayer. We silently pray, screaming to God our life and love.  We scream silently and only God can hear our deepest most innermost yearning.

Today I did an activity that just prolongs my grief with my current situation.  I sat looking at the YWAM website and seeing all these media missions trips.  I long so bad to quit school and just go.  I know I can't but in my deepest being that is what calls to me. I love the media and my one desire is to spread the gospel in a culturally relevant and to be honest cool smooth and fancy way.  I want to make videos that people go ooo and ahhh over. They look and think dang I wanna meet him. Then I have the chance to share the gospel.  I don't have great aspirations to be a great speaker or anything I just like to edit video and make great photos and thats what I want to do.

What do you want to do? What makes you shift in your seat? What makes you want to quit everything your doing and go?  Find it. Some of you are adults and have kids, so what happens when they are in college?  Why can't you go? What hinders you? Are you being hindered by your own desires and inhibitions or are you not called?  If you have felt the call of God to go cut through the BS and find the true calling for your life.

That is what Christ is. He is the ultimate BS cutter.  When his word is put to use it cuts through the cultural crap and lies so you can see the truth.  Apply the same sword and filter to your life.  Cut through all the personal wants and desires to find the inner most calling of your life.  There isn't a formula or exact answer, it's a "What do I love doing and how can I serve God doing it."

posted by shark_maul @ 12/05/2005 11:28:00 AM 2 comments

Taking it into our Own Hands.

Tonight I watched "Walking Tall" with the Rock.  He plays Buford Pusser a retired war hero who comes home to a town that was once great.  Now the town lays in shambles wreaking with alcohol, drugs, sex, and a casino.  After a tussle with the casino he takes the law into his own hands and becomes sheriff.  Throughout the movie he just beats on people for what they have done.  He stood up, walked tall, and did what was right.

Now I'm not advocating violence in any fashion but look at the movie.  It's the perfect example of our walk.  So many times we take it laying down and not doing anything.  Why not get up stand up, walk talk, and do something.  Why can't we be like the warriors in the Bible?  I want to be like David in battle or Moses parting the sea. I want to be a warrior and sold out person to what God has for me and his people.  Don't take the world lying down stand up for what you believe in a manner that is strong and bold.  Don't be afraid of who and what God has made you.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/03/2005 08:26:00 PM 0 comments

Bands.

I just wanted to give a small link to a picture that has 75 bands in it. A very cool concept, a little lewd sometimes but cool.  See if you can find some.

http://www.chinternet.co.uk/75bands.jpg

--
Ryan Stone
www.sharkmaul.blogspot.com

posted by shark_maul @ 12/02/2005 06:28:00 PM 0 comments

3 Types.

I'm gonna guess there are 3 types of people in the world.

The first, the Christian.  The one that got saved when he was 3 and hasn't known anything else.  He's passive and docile.  He has not tasted the true God ever and there is no life. It's dead.  It's laying down and taking it and not fighting back.  They are the Jonah's the ones who haven't tasted God in a raw way.

Then the broken.  The one who came to know God and live in him but is so beaten down that God greatness and their present situation don't match.  There seems to be a breakdown in the system and they fell through the cracks in God's plan.  These people just need a hand up and a way out. They are the prophets or the Davids.

Then those who have tasted it.  The pure, raw, and passionate love of God.  There is only one thing that can happen to live a life of God with God in a way that is God.  These people are hindered by the drag or the society.  They live passionately in God for God.  And that is all that matters to them.  God is there now and forever.  They are the Pauls.

I don't know where you are but don't look to rules or formulas pill or prescriptions or anything that can "fix" it. Just go and be God child.  Don't be searching for his will, if you are with God then it will be obvious it will present itself.  Live wildly.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/01/2005 09:01:00 PM 0 comments

Oddities late @ Night.

I'm studying and I get a call at like 12:30.  Normal but it's a phone operator relay messages typed....it was for my roommate.  First she wants him and I say he's not here then she wants to talk to me.  I'll humor her a moment, but not after what she said.  She was saying I could study her body and crap.  I was like I'm hanging up now.

But now that it is over I want to talk, to her and see what motivates her to debase herself like that.  And to apologize to the operator who was relaying the messages for having to hear it. If you are a girl reading this do not go for these things.  A christian guy if he has issues should want to clean them up, do not perpetrate them.  Dress modestly, be a woman of God.  That is what I'm looking for not some girl or piece of meat.  I shudder at the pure objectification of women in that way.  I want a woman that will stand up for her rights and be bold.  I'm not saying I'm the big wuss but I want a woman who is strong, none of this weak sissy stuff.  Be strong, impress me, show me that your walk with God is honored over anything else.  Yes it sucks taking a back seat to anyone but there isn't anyone else I'd rather take a backseat to than God.

Don't be afraid to put your foot to the throat of a man's sin.  If he look at a girl call him on it.  This may sometimes result in some adverse effects like upset friends, but you are doing the right thing. Be strong.

posted by shark_maul @ 12/01/2005 12:58:00 AM 2 comments

Beating it into Submission.

This whole studying thing really bites.  I have 4 exams on Friday and one tomorrow.  I'm gonna be up late studying and studying tomorrow.  I'm going to get to go to the game on Saturday which makes me insanely excited.  I'm so stoked.  But I've got to study.

Beating the knowledge into my brain...

posted by shark_maul @ 12/01/2005 12:10:00 AM 0 comments