The Stone Spot

The Moving Van Came.

2006-05-29T10:55:00.000-04:00

The van came and went last night around 2 in the morning....with my blog! I've moved, yes, to: blog.jacobsroot.com

Sucking the Poison.

2006-05-27T21:54:00.000-04:00

I did it. After a year and a half of stewing, hating, and being depressed I called Katie. We talked for about 40 minutes and I apologized for my stuff and we cleared the air. It needed to be done a long time ago but sometimes the pride that I try to kill ends up coming rather close to killing me. So to put an end to hurting someone I love I sucked the poison out of my life. And it's been 5 minutes and I feel that I'm a step closer to where I want to be. Freedom can only be experienced through forgiveness....for so long I think many have thought this applied to Jesus...but forgiving is just as important in any situation. Kayla, thank you for helping me move on.

Backwards.

2006-05-19T08:14:00.000-04:00

One thing that amazes me is how the world works in a backwards fashion. God does especially. Example, last night Kayla and I went out and I opened the door for her when we got in the car, well she'll lean over and open mine when I do that. But in contrast when I don't I open mine...and hers. It's interesting how giving has it's returns while just doing it myself gives me double the work. God works in the same way a lot, we give and receive support and encouragement (I hesitate to say "blessings" because it would be taken in the context of money and that's not how God works).

Realizations.

2006-05-16T00:28:00.000-04:00

Life is full of realizations. I'm learning one thing for now. Pride is what will ultimately kill everyone and if it wasn't for God the church would die. Today my parents gave me some money because things haven't gone the way I'd hoped for in the way of freelance work. I really want to show I can support myself but as of right now I can barely make it week to week. Mom and Dad showed me that sometimes I haven't to put aside my pride and ask for help. We have to do this for the church. The church should function on a basis that if there is need then it should be taken care of. There's a lot more on this...but it's past midnight. So more...later.

Being the Body.

2006-05-13T16:43:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I sat at Panera Bread listening to Jack Johnson with Kayla. We'd eaten and were working on projects for school. We were there probably about 2 hours, I watched people come in and out eat and leave. A man who is a minister in Greenville came in with his wife and ate. Quietly and peaceful, no problems. Right as they were leaving the wife knocked over a metal tray making a lot of noise and spilling food all over the floor. Panera is a bust your own table type of place...they left it everything. All the food on the floor and the food on the table. It made me rather angry to see someone that is part of the body of Christ act so...unChristlike. They as a part of society follow the rules, the guidelines...when a place says bust your own table that's what you do. But amazingly as Christians instead of making sure it was spotless before they left neither bothered to even attempt to clean. We've become so focused on the rules we forget about our duty. Our calling by our savior to show the world in endless measure that we love them for who they are. And one way is to follow the guidelines of society, to show we care.

The Basics.

2006-05-07T22:03:00.000-04:00

This morning at Catalyst Jake brought donuts. I'm a huge donut fan, probably a little too much of one. But one thing that struck me is that everyone wanted the donuts, we probably would have griped had we not gotten them. This concept translates very closely to the concept of behavioral control (much like in "The Island"), donuts would insure the peaceful and sugary state of all present workers. Now I know that's a bit of stretch to relate donuts to behavior control but it still begs the question, as humans what must we have to be "satisfied." I watched the first half of Black Hawk Down tonight and I couldn't help but think that the people in Mogadishu were missing an integral part of their needs. They felt that somehow their actions would fulfill a need. Just a little food for thought.

The Life Ahead of Me

2006-05-07T19:39:00.000-04:00

This weekend has confirmed for me a few things, first...living alone sucks. Second...I want a job that I work hard at do well at and stay away from my house while I'm at work. Third...I'd like to be married...not because I want to have sex but because I'd die of boredom. This weekend living at the house alone has been pretty much the 2 longes days of my life. I have nothing to do except sit and watch 24 on DVD and play Paper Mario. Both of which are quite noble quests but neither really cater to my personality. Today I contemplated washing my car...in the rain. Yes, it is that bad...well there went 5 minutes! That means I'm five minutes closer to going to work in the morning...yes!

James.

2006-05-06T13:19:00.000-04:00

I've been reading James in my quiet time lately and it's been a real blessing. I think many have issues with James because he seems to go against what Paul say when it comes to the relationship between faith and action. James saying that faith without works is dead is one of the boldest statements. He's calling us to get out of the pew and on our feet. Not just to sing but to be hands and feet and mouth and body of Christ. We are to reach out to everyone in a way that emulates Christ. I think often I hear (I do the same) that missions trips are service, that's a true statement...but so is actually listening and caring to the people around in such a way that they see that somehow Christ has intersected their life. They see plain and clear that the Jesus who so many have tried to force on them is actually a caring God who wants to forgive and not hate. When we move towards that we are getting the point. We show the world our faith is not dead because we put it into action.

Distortion

2006-05-04T14:02:00.000-04:00

My dictionary defines distortion as: change the form of (an electrical signal or sound wave) during transmission, amplification, or other processing What happens when Christ becomes distorted? I was listening to a question and answer time Engage had on Tuesday and it was interesting. There were 2 things brought up first was distortion. Over time our view of Christ has become distorted and that affects all aspects of our lives. When things become distorted we view Christ through a lens that isn't real, we think he's hateful and judgemental. They put it as (the basic paraphrase): God has had a little too much coffee and is out to get someone, often we think this in the south. The fear of God is what we believe in, but a healthy understanding of the fear of God would be "awe." We are in awe of God and his power when we realize our smallness in his bigness, that is fear. We have distorted the image of Christ in a big way and that affects our ability to be healed by his grace and power. Don't let it, don't let your view of Christ and God to be distorted into something Jesus is not.

The Kentucky Wind

2006-05-03T23:19:00.000-04:00

In a series of events my life changed today. Now nothing is official, but I talked to Western Kentucky and they offer a program that would give me in state tuition because SC doesn't offer a photojournalism program. When I read the email I cried, literally...I called Kayla and woke her up but I was ecstatic. Finally, my dream of seeing people's lives change is within reach. Then tonight I got an email from the director of the department of PJ there and he said that I'd take an intro to photography class and then I'd be in. Another prof. from there said I had good work and they would work me hard. It's odd the correlation of how as I return to the root that gave me everything (God) things begin to happen. It's such a backward way of doing life, we would think us figuring it out would solve problems but instead when we step back and let God do it he takes care of it. What an odd but amazing concept. Guys and girls, I'm tired. So goodnite and thank you for your prayers.

putting together the pieces

2006-05-03T13:26:00.000-04:00

The Christian life is not one element. It's many different elements coming together and infusing themselves with the others. If one element is too much then others suffer, if grace abounds obedience suffers if obedience enforces grace disappears. No matter what something needs to be worked on. That is why God designed the system the way he did, he wanted us to realized our own finite-ness in his infinite power and to realize that we don't have it figured out. It's been my struggle in the past 2 months to learn how to balance everything, to balance me, Kayla, God, photography, ambitions, plans, school, work, and fun while the entire time trying to balance out obedience, grace, prayer, devotion, service, and understanding. Maybe as time goes I can learn to prioritize so my priorities are my priority.

In Over My Head

2006-04-25T20:40:00.000-04:00

Tonight was my first paid gig for photos. I got the call to cover the event at about 3 this afternoon and was supposed to be there at 7 for a press conference for the Cliffs (an overly expensive golf course). I was running late and got caught in traffic, I show up and they say the conference started at 6:30! I wigged out (mentally), my first job and I screw it up. I couldn't believe it, he said 7! So some other people were going in and so I slid in with them and I got my photos. Apparently Gary Player (famous golf guy known as "the Gary Player") is building a custom golf course at the Cliffs. Well I went to a cocktail party after and there were people everywhere, I had no idea what to do. I couldn't get my pictures, another photographer got me to the front and I got my shots and as I'm leaving Cheech Maron is blocking the door! I was like, "excuse me, excuse me." Finally, I got through. I realized I'm over my head. So for the next couple of months I'm doing a get out of the bubble campaign. There are two projects I want to work on. First, I want to do a black and white photo essay on a night fire fighter team. I want to travel to fires with them and document their lives. I also want to do a photo essay called "in the wide." It would be a documentation of the life in it's encompassing form. To view life as the people in it and surroundings creating it. A true color and passionate story about living in our world. So with both I'd hope to get published, but more get a good looking portfolio. I want to go to Kentucky and it's less a want and more a "I will." This is a I'm going to do it. Alright, peace out.

How did i get here?

2006-04-19T09:45:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I ask, how did I get here. The answer is usually minorly more complex than the question. I think it could be that sometime I can't grapple with the truth of my situation. I look at where I am now and wonder how God blessed me so much. Kayla and I went to Barnes and Noble last night and read kids books to each other, it was a time for us to talk and hang out. But I wonder how was I chosen to be with someone who views reading kids books in Barnes and Noble a great date. It's been a blessing, but now that I wonder how I got here to school without having to pay and how I ended up looking at a new school, I wonder how will I get there. Going to Kentucky is going to be hard, very hard. New life, new landscape, new church, new people, far from home. But like any other situation God will take care of me and prepare my way and give me the needed troubles to make me ready when I get there.

A Rock...or Something.

2006-04-08T14:57:00.000-04:00

Last night I went with a few friends camping. First, I've never ever camped before. Second, I'm not really your outdoorsy type. Third,...ok I don't have a third. We had MRE's (military food) for dinner and it was amazing. Now it was like the chimichangas I eat in the dorm but I was amazed. I watched Brad take the packet add water and magically after leaning the packet on "a rock...or something" (it actually said that on the packet) I had insta beef enchilada. I ate it with a spoon out of a bag...I have seen the light and it was good. The fact that we can make boiling water out of adding water to a plastic bag amazes me. There isn't any spiritual depth to speak of at this moment for last night. Also, a tornado was supposed to come through and kill us all...it didn't. We did prepare last will and testament videos though. Sheila filmed us as we said or (not so) last words.

Have fun~Be safe.

2006-04-05T09:39:00.000-04:00

Growing up I had a few things happen when I left the house. First, mom would say, "be safe." Dad would say, "have fun." To this day they both joke about the differences in their personalities. I think at times it would seem one is a redundant phrase. I don't see myself even as a child as conciously being "unsafe" unconciously that's differnt but I would never try to be dangerous. As the years pass I think one without the other would have rendered me weak if I'd obeyed to phrase to the letter. If I lived a life in search of safety I would never had a revolution in Romania. I would have played it safe and got a summer job. Safety would have become my fall back net where I cower. But had I lived a life in search of just fun I would have been equally as weak. I would bounce through my days trying to find ways to be happy. I would become so fickly at my decisions because each one would be based upon my personal gain of momentary joy rather than other people's lifetime gain of wisdom and knowledge and grace. So a public thank you to two wonderful parents. I vaguely remember it but it's worth trying to say again. If I had to pick my parents I'd pic you two. (I think that is some variation on what I said as a kid)

Times.

2006-04-04T09:23:00.000-04:00

There are times where my personality catches up to me. I think I have it all figured out and I've got no changes to make and I realize I'm still only a handful of steps into the journey. I'm not good at compliments. The other day I had 2 people tell me I was smart, it's possible this is true but I would rather live under the assumption I'm average. Being average means I don't have any room to judge. I can say, "you know I'm not great nor crap," and that is it. No more. I don't get a "I'm better than you" complex or anything. I like to be average...even if I'm not. Sometimes I can see people and make judgements about them without knowing them. I see their actions and make a broad sweeping judgement. Unfortunately, I do this often whether it be about people's work or whatever it is. It's not a, "my work is better" but a "you have more potential." I guess in essence these were things that I needed to say because I'm having trouble dealing with them with myself. So maybe a little blow-off will help. Love ya'll guys catch ya later.

My Loyal Mac Buddies.

2006-04-03T09:09:00.000-04:00

I know some of you out there are mac dorks like me and want to uninstall files. So run over to www.maczot.com and get the new appzapper.

Dusty Music.

2006-04-02T23:56:00.000-04:00

The past week or so I along with the rest of the house have been listening to old school music. We've been listening to the music we grew up on, the soothing tunes of Will Smith or overly poppy Nine Days. Most of these songs have seen better days but that's alright. We all love them no less. I think it's interesting to see how people deal with those old songs, most of the time they are more memories than songs. Sometimes we can't listen to certain ones because of the connotation it received in the past. I apologize for my quietness on here, I know many of you read it on a daily basis and I'm grateful for that. It's sorta like I've talked about in the past, if you put God first those other things fall into line. The past week I've had trouble keepin' my priorities in line. Sadly for only the second time this week, I'm happily off to do my quiet time.

Unwarranted Harrassment.

2006-03-28T09:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was about to do some work for the paper in one of the sports areas. I walked in fine to meet the subject and that went fine, but once we began to setup I was approached by someone who worked there and was basically asked to leave. Now leaving because there was class would be no big deal, but he wanted me to leave because the paper had written a supposedly scathing article about the sports team's approach to sharing facilities. After explaining I had nothing to do with the article other than take the photo. He continued to give me grief about it and was a little perturbed because I told him I had nothing to do with it. One thing I learned from the situation though was that first, I'm not part of the story. It's a fair trade of sorts, the reporter who can write the scathing articles can stay at the desk the whole time, but I am the one who is supposed to be neutral. One of my biggest fears of doing photography for a living is losing me religion. It is my job to be neutral in what I do and I fear that with time I will lose my want to meet the people and know the people. Like any other issue though, God will get me through it and will show me the path to follow.

Living through a Lens.

2006-03-24T22:07:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged for a while and I did yesterday but I didn't post it due to accidentally shutting down. Either way I've neglected the masses, sorry. Life through a camera lens is a lot different than life without. First, you begin to see the world in a the method of a story. Everything is angles and lighting. Secondly, you develop skin. It's hard to go up to someone you've never met and photograph them without ever meeting them. I had and still have trouble with it. The biggest problem with living life through a lens is not caring about the people. When taking pictures you can't take sides. If you do then you risk possibly ticking a subject off or becoming part of a story rather than telling it. I learned this very quick and still to this day sometimes forget that the people are more important than my photographs. In the next few days I need to begin my photoessay due at the end of the year. At first I wanted to photograph a female bartender, but I didn't really have a good feeling about it. It was an idea but I wasn't sure. I think now I want to photograph, a fireman's crew. I may find a group of fireman that pull the dusk shift and work with them. Tell the story of firemen who live and breathe service. Men who run into the burning building while everyone else runs out. I want that story to be seen and experienced. So please pray for me and that I find a group that is well represented of the average man. Also please pray for Brandon Bartlett, I emailed him and Beth and havne't heard from them yet. Since I don't have my old cell phone then I don't have the number. So please be in prayer for their family. (what happened is important but I don't want to tell unless I have permision)

The News Front.

2006-03-19T10:31:00.000-05:00

Well things might be changing for me in the next couple of months. I've been thinking about the future and just where is the next step. Once I was riding in the car with a friend and she made a good point, never, ever settle for less than I think I deserve...the best. So next fall I will be applying to the University of Missouri, I plan to attend and major in photojournalism. For me this wil mark a major stepping stone in my life. I will be far away from home, I will being pursuing my passion for media and photography, and I will be stepping way out of my comfort zone. So please pray for me and just that my decisions are God based. Just to clarify a little bit, my move is not out of spite for NGU (I'm actually very happpy right now), but instead a change because I want the best training and I want to do the best work I can do. That's what God wants out of us, Catalyst has helped to show me we don't bring our mediocre to the table before God. We bring our best.

Deciding for Yourself.

2006-03-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

Last night Kayla and I went and saw V for Vendetta, it was a decent movie but we both left wondering if we'd really liked it or not. We couldn't decide whether the director had left it up to us to decide what they were saying or spoon fed it to us. Sometimes writers, painters, or directors have to make a concious choice of whether to spell out what they are saying or let the audience think for themselves. I usually take the approach to writing that lets the audience think for themselves. I've had some trouble lately with people taking things out of context and I ask that when you read you think about where I am in my spiritual journey. Please remember for the most part I'm writing directly from my head without censorship, I want you to get to know me on a personal basis. But I ask that if you have something to say respond, you can comment anonymously if you please. I won't erase what you say or write a mean post back. But please be courteous and follow internet etiquette and speak your mind here and not to the rest of the world. Just like any other thing there is a system in place for the internet, there are rules, things you do and do not do. I know it sounds cheesy but ask a teenager, we know these rules. So please out of courtesy will you comment on what I write here rather than creating unnecessary controversy. Thank you.

A Bruce of Fresh Air.

2006-03-16T21:43:00.000-05:00

At NGU postmoderns and the emerging church followers are considered evil. For a long time I've been offended at the treatment of people who choose to think in a different way than some established belief that claims to be rooted in the bible. Today in class Dr. Beam decided to spend some time talking about the scary new, "emerging church." He basically believes that we are a group who disregards the bible and chooses to add other religions to the mix. But not true. Later in the day I was working in the office on some personal work and I think I heard some of the most uplifting talk at the college I've ever heard. Dr. Bruce and english professor came in and talked to some of the students in a design class for a while. He basically said that the church has turned it's back on art (which is true for the most part) and that they've made a monster of postmodernism (also very true). He went on to say how postmodernism is basically a difference in style. So there is greatness and truth among the many created lies.

Dating to Marry.

2006-03-16T20:23:00.000-05:00

One thing I was thinking about the other day is that somehow we setup our relationship to fail. One thing we do is we make it where the relationship is not like marriage. When you go on a date the man pays (I'm not arguing the validity of this tradition, rather I'm pointing something out), why does the man pay? When married a couple would be splitting the cost. It doesn't matter who pays because both are together on the income thing. Maybe we should all take a look at how we approach relationships. I will say though...when I have money it makes me feel good taking Kayla out...feel mature, like a provider.

Recurring Silence.

2006-03-14T23:18:00.000-05:00

Tonight Kayla and I went and sat in the car after Starbucks and talked. We talked about summer and future (not together future but where she is headed) and then we did something that took a lot for me to do. I prayed with her. I sat there and prayed for her and for us and for a life in search of the rhythm of God. Today I realized that somehow I've fallen over the line again, it's become hard for me to utter the word God or Jesus. I think it's a lot like playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater, when you grind you have to balance the skater so he (or she) doesn't fall off the rail. It's exactly like that. I look each day and deal with the fact that I can't balance on the rail of life. I'm fighting with myself to search after God in a fashion to where he balances my life. Live daily in a posture and fashion that places you in a place to where there is no choice but to rely on God.

Dealing with the Truth.

2006-03-13T01:37:00.000-05:00

I am impotent (as a Christian). I think that somehow I've wanted to be so different that those Christians, the Pat Robertsons of our faith that I've gone to the other end of a Christian who lacks the faith and punch to really step up and represent my true Jesus. Daily I'm dealing with how do I cope with that. I need to find how to not be an opposite but something completely different.

A Little Leg, Bermuda Shorts, and a Whole Lotta Sinnin'

2006-03-09T09:55:00.000-05:00

The othe day my dad and I were talking about life and just everything in general. Most of the time it rolls around to church or something and like usual it did, we were discussing legalism and just it's many faces. He was talking about how when he worked at a church a while back they'd had the same pastor twice. The first time he was asked to leave because he was ministering to hippies and "those people." He had actually told the people who needed Jesus about him. Years later when my Dad was working there he came back. Dad was excited, a guy who was so well known for his ministry outreach had to be great. With time the man had changed something happened and he saw the need to become legalistic. My dad remembers a time when he quoted the verse about not doing anything to make a brother stumble when talking about wearing bermuda shorts in the yard to do work. He claimed that such an act could cause someone to sin. As ridiculous as it sounds those people exist. They live to somehow earn their way into heaven. So think about the rules, regulations, and grace of God and decide whether he is a rules God or a God who has guidelines and a plan of salvation for the lost.

Wrath.

2006-03-06T10:16:00.000-05:00

God is not confined to the things we believe. He is this all mighty powerful deity. During the sermon the other day he talked about the wrath of God, he did say it was not a wrath like ours. It's a righteous indignation. I think God's wrath was there originally. God was not stupid when he created the systems that govern the earth and everything around it. God is not stupid. He saw that sin would enter so the natural consequences of our sin are the natural wrath of God. When someone has sex with a girl outside of marriage and she gets knocked up it's a natural consequence but simultaneously the wrath of God. Don't confine God to a box or a certain thing. I am confining him with my statement and I know full well he works beyond that but it's a conjecture into the way God could work and more than likely does his work.

Chillin.

2006-03-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

I'm at church right now and just enjoying getting to use my mac instead of a slow dial up compie. Today has been interesting. The first thing I heard when I woke up was that Rheta (not sure if that's how you spell it) died. She was my geometry teacher in the 10th grade and it was a surprise to me considering I had no idea she was sick again. I seem to get only limited info at college. Today Dan talked about sin...again. I'm not saying that I'm against talking about sin in a sermon but it seems to be all he talks about. I hear constantly that I'm bad and my sin is evil which is true (the sin being evil part). But I think that people need to hear about the sin but also about the redemptive grace of Christ. I feel free in Christ's grace but I feel like a dirty whore when I come home because that grace is sidestepped almost. This isn't a direct shot on Dan or anyone in particular, I just want people to think about what is being taught. Jesus spent more time talking about grace, love, and how those things fix the world than how evil people were. The times he talked about the evil people was when he was talking to the religious groups. Just think about these things, realize what we are really teaching. (and realize I could be wrong)

Many Wishes.

2006-03-04T23:28:00.000-05:00

Today was a day. Last night was a night. I got home and ate Fiesta promptly only to eat it again 3 hours later. No shame though, when you haven't had good mexican food or good food for almost 2 months it's all amazingly good.

Last night David and I chilled and watched Scary Movie 3...it was on TBS...and amazingly I laughed for the half hour I watched. Then I got up this morning and we decided to blow up bottles by mixing toilet bowl cleaner and aluminum foil. After an hour or so of that we decided to go to Jed's and ride four wheelers. Now rarely I find much beauty in what man makes. I find most of it to be clunky and rather uninspiring. Today was minorly different though. As we rode four wheelers I watched as we as man made the dust rise and hit the sunlight in between the trees. The whole time I rode I yearned deeply for my camera, and the time to stop and take photos. But alas my camera was sitting quietly at David's house just waiting for it to be used again.

I saw though in the time I was out how much God is in nature. The as I looked at the old abandaned houses he was there. His touch was on each piece of nature.

Now, the abandaned houses. We found 2 old houses. One most likely a house from the fifties that was just cinderblock. There were old magazines and band posters. We looked at the different eras represented. Most likely it was abandaned and kids came and smoked pot there in the 80's. Then later the real find came. We looked at a very old abandoned house from the 1800's, we found a collection of sermons from the early 1900's that was marked in repeatedly. Both houses conjured images in my head, seeing the people as they sat there. What was the world like to them? What did this place mean to them? How did it affect them? Each one I wanted to see the images and feel the emotion just to know how the world was to them.

We should daily look at the world around us and try to see it from the person on the other side of the counter's eyes. Most likely that is what Jesus did. He tried to see the world from their eyes, because then he knew best how to fix their problem. I think Jesus looks and sees how we want it fixed but also how he needs to fix it for the better end of his plan.

So, to end but fit my title. My many wishes. First, to sell my guitar gear for camera gear. Then next to see the world and have time to photograph it. Lastly, to have fun, living life full of stories and fun.

Adjusting.

2006-03-02T11:59:00.000-05:00

Since last week things have taken a little adjustment. I was talking to Kayla about it and it can be a little hard. I went from being a guy who could do whateverhe wanted with his free time to having to divide it between friends that have been there and Kayla. There is nothing wrong with that it just takes balancing, I feel like I don't want to leave Chris and the guys and just never get to know them but on the opposite end I want to spend time with Kayla. So adjusting is what it takes. I wonder if we ever do this with Jesus. Do we look at our lives soon after becoming Christians or at any point and think about how we need to adjust our time and our lives to inclue both our needs and the necessity of alone time with my Jesus. Ultimately it takes a changing of the heart and priorities, we have to see that time with God is the most important time. Just a little help on this subject: by spending time with God on a regular basis it will help to shift our priorities to a place where God is in front and we will begin to see and be guided by God.

Mute Math

2006-03-01T13:57:00.000-05:00

Last night I saw Mute Math in Charlotte and it was an amazing show. In the next couple of days I'll be posting some of the pictures from the concert. I was mostly deaf afterwards but that is mostly unimportant. I'll catch ya'll later.

Weird Sleep.

2006-02-25T11:16:00.000-05:00

So my sleep was very very un-Ryan like last night. I fell asleep and about a half hour later I woke up and looked at Scott working on the computer and said, "runaway rickshaw." Then after him being like "what?" I realized I didn't have a clue what was going on. So I laughed and went back to sleep. The rest of the night I had trouble sleeping. It was a very stupid problem to have.

Would Jesus play Halo?

2006-02-24T15:46:00.000-05:00

Living in today's world I think we lose track of what Jesus would do in his free time. I think on Monday's he'd go chill and hang out with people and maybe heal some people all day. And during class he might argue with overpompous teachers. (only one specifically....durn worldview) Tuesday he might go to engage then explain in detail the reality of the talk while we hang out at Starbucks. Wednesday he might go downtown and heal people and tell about himself. Then he might spend the late night painting school rooms for free and doing janitorial work. Thursday he'd go to a homesexual part of town and talk to people and get to know them. He would help them with life problems and the things they deal with. Then Thursday he might spend with the homeless, he'd talk to them give them food and help them get a job. Friday, he would come play Halo with the guys and proceed to tar and feather us. I think the Jesus I worship is different than the Jesus so many think they know. Maybe tomorrow or better yet...today find out what Jesus would do and how he would do it then emulate.

Laugh.

2006-02-24T10:35:00.000-05:00

I think since I've been back at college laughing has been my goal for life. I can be serious but it's so much more fun to laugh and cut up and do stupid things.

Life has been hectic but the 2 of the best months of my life. I have so many friends now and some of the social issues seem to be fading and ultimately I'm real happy where I am. I'm learning about life and love and just whatever seems to happen. I'm working hard on my photography thinking of new design ideas constantly and striving to make the best impact in media wherever I am.

One of the few things I've learned in the past few weeks is that laughing is a universal thing. That if I like a girl making her laugh seems to be (I could be wrong...I am a guy) the best thing. I could give flowers or something tangible but a year from now she might remember something stupid I said. So in the end the flowers will smell great and wilt and just leave some faded memory but if I can make someone laugh it's great in the moment and retellable for laughs down the road. So I guess thats some of what I've been learning recently. (I sound like a retarded 8th grade sap, I know...spare me the grief.)

Sunrise, Sunrise. Looks like morning in your eyes.

The Pressure is on.

2006-02-23T18:32:00.000-05:00

Last night I talked some about finding a relationship that exists without pressure the only problem is there will be pressure to not have pressure. Let's say I want to date someone and I'm like I want a pressureless relationship, well ultimately there will be tons of pressure to create a pressureless relationship. So back to square one. Better blog later hopefully.

Birth Control.

2006-02-23T00:47:00.000-05:00

You might find this somewhat crude but it's completely true. It was the first thing taught to me as a keeper:

Being a keeper is a lot like birth control the best way to keep someone from scoring is keep your legs together.

I don't have anything spiritual to say tonight. We won our soccer game and are going to playoffs.

Dating.

2006-02-22T15:37:00.000-05:00

There are a few forms of dating that do the trick. But none of them work. Each one suffers from more problems than good things. Let's cover a few.

Official Dating: It does the trick for stability and romance, but it creates a relationship w/ restrictions on time and things. A couple thinks that they must spend all time w/ each other and they become an island to themselves. It will die. Courting: This is most likely the best form but it is rather overwhelming. If I tell a girl I want to court you it basically makes a relationship with tons of pressure. You both think you will marry each other. If you were friends then all of a sudden there is tons of pressure for this whole thing to work. The unofficial we're dating but we don't want to date or kiss or make people think we are dating but in truth we're actually dating but we don't want to admit it: This is where I am right now. Like I want to date someone but I can't deal with where I stand on dating. Like right now I'm really interested in someone but for one it's way early but two I don't want to ruin stuff. The other 2 ways just make life hectic. I want an answer that is I like her she likes me and that is cool with us and we spend time together but there isn't all this pressure. Arranged marriages: Probably the best answer in my opinion. I may have said otherwise a minute ago but I forgot about arranged marriages. I think if BOTH SETS OF PARENTS are in TUNES WITH GOD and have the interest of their kids in mind then it would be ideal. All the pressure is gone. But people would abuse it and then the whole thing would die.

So there it is dating in a nutshell and probably not that well covered. There are many new iterations of dating styles but most I don't feel are even worth mentioning.

Finding Faith.

2006-02-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have been around me recently you'd understand that I absolutely love Mutemath. It's just one of those things that has happened and there is nothing I can do about it. There is one song though that I can't seem to get enough of. No matter the situation I can listen to it and just fall in love all over again. And the main reason I like it so much is 2 lines.

Don't worry, the best we've known is yet to come. Don't worry, the worst won't get the best of us.

Can you see it? The power of those words? The song OK by them on their last CD was the same way. So go listen: mutemath.com. Peace out.

Roots.

2006-02-20T09:44:00.000-05:00

Sin has roots. No matter what sin we talk about it has deep roots. All of those roots head back to the same place. When we sin the main cause is selfishness. When we think about ourselves before others we are negating our duty of service and love to the world as Christ commanded. Sin is caused almost exclusively by our own selfish desires. Murder, hate, greed, pride, porn, alcoholism, abusiveness, all of it traces directly back to someone thinking about them-self before others. Adam and Eve were victims to it. Jonah. Judas. Ananias and Saphira. David. All of them were God's people but they exemplified that sin is rooted deeply in our own selfishness. When we work past that simple fact it will help us to see the world in a new way. If we understand that selfishness is the driving motivation for sin we can learn how to appeal to the sin nature with the reality of grace.

Living Guilty.

2006-02-20T00:28:00.000-05:00

I am guilty. I am guilty of not being guilty. I stand before God blameless and utterly forgiven by his grace. There is nothing I can do. I kicked a habit about 6 months ago and I've been free of it for a while. When I sit in church and the preacher is talking about "that sin," the one we know we need to repent of I'm like, "na, dude, I'm clean." For 6 years I dealt with it and now I am so free in Christ's love and grace that I feel blameless (I still sin, but grace surpasses that). I guess for so long I've felt that to be a Christian I have to feel guilty all the time for some sin. I'm moving beyond that. I'm not claiming perfection or any sort of "answer," I'm just saying why can't we live a life that is free in Christ. A life that is truly free from the burden of past sins. Why do we have to hold on to that baggage? Why do we need to never feel free.

Jacobsroot.com

2006-02-17T13:18:00.000-05:00

Check it out. The new Jacobsroot.com is up and running. It for now is a site for some graphic design, but will most likely mold into a new home for my blog, photo gallery, and some graphic design. I was hoping for Ryanstone.com but it's taken up already so no go there. Check it out. I'd love to have some helping photoshoppers to join in the project. Enjoy!

2006-02-16T10:21:00.000-05:00

Tongue.

Open your mouth, stick out your tongue. Not anything amazing is it. There is nothing special about the slab of meat in between your jaws. But sometimes it does so much. The other night I was at Starbucks just chillin' and I was hanging out doing my thing, and someone asked me a computer question. Someone I didn't know hadn't met before and it rubbed me the wrong way. I was rude to her, not meaning to be so but I honestly didn't care. It was after 5 o'clock and people on campus not taking care of their computers is not my problem. I've had people I know want me to come fix something for them during class, during my free time, and late at night. I can't escape the clutches of work sometimes. I want to be Ryan, not Ryan the guy that works at computer services. Either way, my tongue got me into a little more doo-doo than I was planning on. Now I got 2 girls mad at me (not the first time for this situation) and it has been bugging me since it happened. Last night when I was playing keeper (again), I couldn't really pay attention to the game without thinking about the whole ordeal. I was having trouble admitting I was rude but on the same token I wish people would just respect the fact that I'm not at work. How can our tongue affect someone? A few words can change the entire course of someone's life. "I don't love you" "We are not meant for each other" "This life is not worth living" All these are phrases that will alter lives. So as I learn today more than ever what it's like to catch hold of the piece of meat between my jaws learn the same. Take inventory of the reactions of those around you. I will probably blog again on Monday, after my long weekend.

2006-02-15T11:26:00.000-05:00

Weird.

So the past few days have been a little weird. Nothing bad just weird. Brittney Fogg (who I didn't know), died last night in a car accident and today was a memorial in chapel. So that was an emotional time. It never fails to make you think about your own mortality at someone else's death. Yesterday was great. Engage was amazingly fun, Starbucks afterwards was quite enjoyable. We just had a good time. Then when I got home I got ragged by a friend because I'd told their roommate I didn't want to talk about her computer having a virus on my free time. When I'm not working I don't want to talk about computer problems. I deal with that all day. So I got chewed out because I wouldn't fix their problem. Then I got 4 texts messages from them at 3 in the morning with random nonsense. I was woken up 5 times last night with phone calls and text messages. Ug. Sometimes I just wish for a quiet life, where I can just have some alone time. This weekend should be good for me, I've got to go have an interview in Newbery and I'll have 2 days of alone time. It will be great for my psyche and spirit. Catch ya'll later.

2006-02-13T22:29:00.000-05:00

I know we can't elope but won't you be my valentine. That's what Sheila said as she gave me a cantelope. (pun can't elop, cantelope) I'll catch ya'll later.

2006-02-10T19:04:00.000-05:00

Gone

My roommate got the boot. It's official. I hate it for him, but there's nothing I can do. Plus I feel that this was a just boot on the college's end. I think that he may not have done it this time, but I know from past times he has. So he just didn't get caught the other times. Pray for him.

2006-02-09T22:14:00.000-05:00

My Roomie.

So it looks like my roommate might be getting kicked out. He was caught with some photos of beer in the background and a few friends who ratted him out. He claims he was the Designated driver for the evening and I actually believe him. He owned up to smoking but I don't think that means he's been drinking. I just ask that if you read this you pray for him. As much as we have our problems I don't want to lose the guy. He's actually fun to have around sometimes. So please do that.

2006-02-08T23:14:00.000-05:00

I Hate Playing Goalie.

It's one of the worst positions in all of sports. When you're doing good your doing great, people love you. You might even get a little bit of chatter at the water cooler. But when you lose, all you get is the obligatory good game or sometimes the "it's just a game." I disagree with that statement, just a game is when I go play tennis and forget to keep score or play something and just let the score not matter. It's a competition, when points are kept it become a competition. So often God is our goalie. When he's blockin' the shots and takin' names we're like yeah, go God. But the moment he let's something slide (in his case he can't miss a shot so we'll bend the analogy a little) we just have to say the obligatory "God's in control." It sounds so fake and puny, that life is like that. Stand up and defend someone, stand up and truly believe God is in control. Oh...we lost our game 7-1.

I Want to Marry Someone.

2006-02-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

In the past couple of days I've joked around on my away message that I'm off to find a woman to marry. Part of it's true, if she drops on my front step than I wouldn't mind marrying someone, but I do want to meet someone. My time will come and I'm cool with that. But one main reason for this entire post is the candy hearts. I love Valentine's day for one reason take or single...Candy hearts. I love all of them except the yellow. I'd play XBOX at Brandon's and by the end of the day only yellow would be left. So if you the woman of my dreams is out there the one way to steal my heart is simple, no ring, no love, no kisses, just candy hearts. There it is women, the key to my heart. So first one with the hearts gets the ring!

2006-02-06T23:14:00.000-05:00

Seeing the World.

My first foray into the world of documentaries will be next month. A friend and I are going to go live and be homeless for an entire weekend. I want to see a different world and expose my world to it. The past couple of weeks God has been hammering me hard, saying photography...get ready because what you will see will change you. I still want to do missions photography but it comes back to what I think will be a life phrase for me:

Affecting change through media.

I want you to watch this preview for this documentary and see the world outside of the box and find out what it would be like to have your world exposed to the world of someone else. http://www.invisiblechildren.com/theMovie/trailers/index.php?video=large

2006-02-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

I've got a ton of work to do this weekend, so I can't blog long. But here is a link for those dorks who love have high quality album art on their iPod. Enjoy. http://www.thejosher.net/iTunes/

2006-02-03T08:33:00.000-05:00

Smudges.

You know when we were at small group the other night there was an interesting idea. He basically conjectured that we in a way put our fingerprints all over God's world. In our nature we smudge the world around us. Let's take that a step farther. The world is like an iPod and it's perfect in form and reflection. When God looks into the world he sees the reflection of him in his creation, just like we see the reflection of ourselves in the iPod. But with time the fingerprints and smudges build up and the reflection is lost and we can't see anymore. The same happens with God, we've taken and put our fingerprints all over this world that we have trouble seeing God in creation. We've put buildings and stuff everywhere and we have introduced sin. In both cases we are supposed to be able to look at the world, nature, and people and see God; but we've put ourselves all over it to the point to where it is no longer noticeable. I think that following Christ in a manner to where we are his hands and feet, that will allow us to slowly wipe off the fingerprints and have them replaced with the clear reflection of Christ.

2006-02-03T08:31:00.000-05:00

Making History.

I want to get famous. My innermost being wants cameras going off and getting my name everywhere but that won't ever happen. It's not because God couldn't empower me to do it or because I could get there myself; it's because I want to be famous in a whole different way. The past couple of weeks God has been pushing heavy on my heart to see change effected through media. Not video but specifically images. Constantly I'm having to look at photos by famous photographers and see how they have effected change. I'm not changing my major but I'm bummed because I'm not learning a lot in my photography class. I'm having to sit through loads of crap photos of bad flash, poor composition, posed shots, boring shots, etc... This is fine for just chillin' with the friends but not for a class. I want to almost fail this class. I want someone who teaches me so much about photography that I can only respect them for their depth of knowledge. There have been pictures over time that have impacted me deeply and one is of a monk that burnt himself to death. He dowsed himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire. I was so moved by the conviction of the man that I could not deny the power of his message. A man who believed so much in the wrong God that he would die just to send a message. If you want to help me I have to photograph an "issue" and I can't seem to find one, so what is affecting you? How can I tell your story? (I only have until Tuesday so decide quick.)

2006-02-01T23:32:00.000-05:00

Sociality.

First, let me gloat momentarily, I scored free tickets to see Mutemath for Charlotte and Greenville. YES!!!! So I'm anti-social. It's not a I want to be that way I just am. I have lots of trouble dealing with crowds and meeting new people, I guess that's why it's easier to just talk to people on the internet and stuff. I'm not a big group kind of guy, I like small groups and stuff. Tonight I was chillin' sort of, with a friend and she was going on and talking to everyone and I realized how little I interact socially. It's like this plague thing that just haunts me. Well enough moaning for the night. O check out this Vid.

2006-01-30T16:51:00.000-05:00

My Daddy's Posture.

Sometimes when I sit I notice immediately I'm sitting like my Dad. I love my Dad and have always wanted to be like him but sometimes I'm like, "Crap, I'm sitting just like my Dad." What about God? When we are around God and spend time with him on a daily basis the same thing happens. We posture ourselves after him. By spending a daily portion of our time intimately connecting with our God our posture will change to match him. Now there will be times where we falter but nonetheless we will continue to posture ourselves after him. This weekend I had an interesting time. I noticed that after 3 days without a steady quiet time my mental state had gone from a state postured after Christ to one that was quickly forgetting what that posture was like. Your life will posture itself after God with time. So daily spend time with him and posture yourself in a way that imitates his grace, mercy, and majesty.

2006-01-25T22:50:00.000-05:00

Soccer, Blown Knees, and Barefoot Walking in the Cold.

I got talked into playing intramural soccer and I'm stoked about it. Our first game we got creamed 7-1 by the Foreigners (they're all foreign, so they actually know how to play soccer). Let me cover the latter of the topics first. As I walked back in the like 30 degree weather I (barefoot, t-shirt, and gym shorts) saw a girl running towards her dorm and figured to ask whats the rush. She said it's cold. So often we run to the comfort places of life and forget the cold. It's freezing and everyone is running for cover and forgetting that in the cold is where the crisp, cold, air is. We run to our lives to shelter from the cold frigid world but forget that God is in the cold quiet clearness. Second, soccer. As I watched us get whipped I noticed a distinct difference in playing styles that is obvious for almost anything. When playing soccer people that know how to play are calm and collected they know exactly where to send the ball and the others who frantically run around just don't have a clue. The same thing goes with design, movies, preaching, public speaking, writing, and Jesus...simplicity. God design the best things to be simple, not flashy or hoorah but simple. I think that's why strip joints are all flashy and stuff...because the flash and outside glitz draws people in. When you actually ponder our walk it's simple this Grace that is so unfair, so undeserved comes in and pervades our lives and it's simple...we just have to accept it.

Some Photos

2006-01-23T00:10:00.000-05:00

2006-01-20T01:21:00.000-05:00

Grace.

I just finished reading (in one night) What's So Amazing About Grace. (visual edition) This is what I learned: The grace that saved me saves the homosexual and the homosexual hater. The grace that changed me change the porn addict. The grace my Jesus offers can reverse the hate of so many Christians. The sounds of Amazing Grace can calm Wembley Stadium filled with G n' R fans. The grace that saved me saved Jeffrey Dahmer. Ten thousand people die each day of starvation and we don't give a shit, and you are more worried about the fact that I said shit instead of people dyeing.-(it's in the book I just can't find it to give credit) Grace saved Paul. Grace could have saved Judas. Grace saved me. Grace saves you. If we live by grace then when Christians are thought of we will be viewed as the righteous right hand of our Lord Jesus Christ instead of the hateful right hook of a God who only wants to hate his own creation.

2006-01-19T23:48:00.000-05:00

Fight the Tide.

This has been a hard week. I've had to sit through two Christian worldview classes and just go crazy. The only way I'm surviving is 2 of my friends are with me so we all IM each other to take the edge off. It's just been a real tough time having to sit through some of the atrocities they talk about. Today Dr. Beam condoned Stephen Baldwin sitting outside of a porn store and photographing people then publishing it in the newspaper. So if I'm a non-christian and I'm into porn and go into a store and am photographed and embarrassed then later am witnessed to then I couldn't care less. I would hate Christians, they ruined my reputation and my marriage (yes it was my sin but the fact is the Christian community would have amplified my sin and shown it to the world). So, after sitting through that I wanted to scream then I had to listen to Dr. Ecarma say that we should not baptize gays and that if they had trouble dealing with the lifestyle then we should send them away from the church. No. Absolutely not. As the body we must be there for them and provide support, their sin is a much more visible version of our own sins. I hate that and I hate that it's happened but it's the way it is (Sidenote: I don't approve of homosexuality). But after really wanting to go crazy and just lose it I remembered four very specific people. First, Jay my pastor who honestly said hey I've been there I know what it's like, do what God wants you to and follow his heart. Andrew Hill who encouraged me to seek Christ and forget the dogma forget the legalism. Dani who challenged me to think and realize that it's a part of life. Tim who helped me see that doing missions media is a lot like doing media at NGU. And I know I said four but my mother and father, who said they are behind me no matter where God leads. I want to thank you for encouragement and patience...I try to keep my wig outs to once a year.

Hold on to me, hold on Hold on to me, yeah Please don't let me go no, no, hold on 'Cause I am prone to wonder Prone to leave this faith I know Hold on And now they say that the wise man Well, he fears the Lord And this fear, well, it's the beginning of all wisdom And I must be a fool 'Cause I sure don't seem to fear You 'Cause the very things that You will me to do Well, I just don't seem to get around to The very things that You hate Are the very things that I always stumble into

~Shawn McDonald

2006-01-17T23:49:00.000-05:00

Some Heavy Reading.

I want ya'll to read this article. This is the kind of lets think before we judge. (Side note I don't condone the movie BUT I have NOT seen it) http://relevantmag.com/pc_article.php?id=7101#pagetop

2006-01-17T23:40:00.000-05:00

Reconciling Life.

My world sometimes seems to be crashing down around me sometimes. I'm having a lot of trouble reconciling my beliefs about the world, God, and really anything with what I'm being force fed at school. The college seems to be shoving their stuff down my throat, sometimes it's great theologically sound stuff and other times I just want to scream. I look at professors or whoever and try to be patient, one thing the college has taught me is how to be patient with speakers. I'll sit and listen and try to listen and agree with as much as I can. I'm constantly fighting with my want to leave the college and my feeling that somehow I'm supposed to be here. The funding in my department is terrible, we're censored at the paper, I'll be censored in the art department, and at the end I'll graduate from the college of a denomination I don't necessarily believe in. I'm trying to be positive and seek God in everything I do, but I'm constantly facing opposition from some sort of invisible opposition. There are 4 things that keep me here Catalyst, my friends, the possibility of one of my friends coming here, and friends at work. Beyond that I want to change. I don't know guys (and girls) to do this right is going to be hard. Peace out.God time.

2006-01-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

Discovering my Worldview.

Today in Christian worldview I was a little excited but also minorly perturbed, partially by the fact I had to pee insanely bad after 2 cups of coffee but also by some of the things he said. Like he was saying that he preached a sermon against "Bruce Almighty." He hadn't seen it but he preached a message against it soley by what he'd seen in the previews. I'm a firm believer in knowing what your talking about definitively and not out of your butt without real knowledge. I think I'm beginning to accept some point of Christian worldview but with reservations. CS Lewis started the whole thing apprarently and I like Lewis. I wonder though if he looked at today's Christian worldview if he would think that it has strayed from his original intentions for it. I wonder what my Jesus would think about the whole thing. More later...when I'm not in class.

2006-01-14T20:51:00.000-05:00

Rituals.

What if you had to sacrifice your best. What if God required an iPod sacrifice from us. What if it was 7 days wages to buy the least to give to our God? I've thought for about 2 months now what it would be like. I think it would be a humbling experience. I would want to be humbled in that way. Now though with Christ's death we just stand there naked and sinful before and let him wash us clean. There is nothing we can do. The only thing we can do is accept it, be grateful, and tell others. That's the only thing we can do. Tonight Shannon paid for my dinner at Catalyst and Greg offered to help with gas, I said no to the gas and really wanted to say yes I need it badly but my pride stood in the way. For the Church today to succeed we must get past our pride. For there to be a body of people who are gracious in all they do the people have to let their pride fall to accept the help. There must be a willingness to accept the help. So tomorrow, if you are in need admit it, accept it, and let us help. Let a Christian show you who he really is and see if they are the image of Christ or an attempt to be like Christ.

2006-01-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

Purity it is.

Today in chapel the guy talked about purity and sex and how if your not married it's not healthy for you. Once again some man tries to change the entire world with a message. The only problem is there has to be a change in the attitude the heart the direction of a man's life. I sat there and I agree with what he is saying, but I think that there has to be a different direction for what we should do. For a guy to change his mind about porn or purity there has to be a change in his mindset towards obedience. He has to understand obedience is an issue of the heart not an issue of the rules. They are there for protection, put in place by love and for us to follow them would be an outward sign of our devotion and reverence to God. Obedience is about love not rules. For there to be a change in the heart for someone that has to be understood, otherwise it's obedience without a true goal.

2006-01-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

Deceiving Denominations.

Yesterday a professor came into work and she was real nice while we fixed her computer for like 8 hours, she was an author writing about spiritual maturity. I thought I'd size her up and I guessed older woman, WMU person, culturally irrelevant. She went on to talk about her southern baptist church and her keeping the church history. So I was pretty convinced that this lady had nothing spiritually important to say. Then she was like you know a sign of spiritual maturity is when someone loves unselfishly and without bounds, but spiritual immaturity is when one is unloving and full of self righteous indignation. Then this was the real shocker, she said, "too bad the southern baptist convention is more of the latter." Boom. Right there. She said what I was thinking and ultimately won my respect. She was a down to earth everyday normal lady who just happened to show me a little something. I'm not anti-southern baptist I'm just not pro-southern baptist. And for the most part I just want to see a change. And for those of you reading that go to my church, I unfortunately hold somewhat of a double standard because I know ya'll and believe wholeheartedly that your visions and hearts are in the right place and seeking after God's true heart. I'm still on the journey of getting to a point where I'm ok with my current state of beliefs but still being ok with other people's beliefs, even if I feel they might be irrelevant and uncool. Sorry if I offended anyone with this one, like I said I'm still getting there and I'm letting you in on my journey, it's my inner thoughts so just be aware sometimes I might say things that offend you, I'm not meaning to. Peace out. (o' and a new website is on the way!)

2006-01-04T23:15:00.000-05:00

Swinging

I was listening to the Relevant podcast today while I was getting ready and it was rather interesting. A girl had written an article about a comment Bono had made at a concert. Basically the comment was saying we as Christians, Muslims, and whatever need to get along but somehow she either misheard or he mis-said it. It came out as a relativistic sort of thing and stirred up enough controversy to initiate an impromptu podcast by the Relevant people. One of the things they talked about was the swinging pendulum. They said sometimes as Christians we are so we're right and your going to Hell that we miss the truth of the gospel which is love at heart but sometimes we swing far the other way and focus on our lovey dovey God who never punishes. The dialogue the article started was great because it made me think where I am. Am I on the obedient-less people side or over zealous mean Christians side. I'd tend to lean to the obedient-less but I'm not that. God has gifted me with an understanding of obedience, that it is not rules but a warning. It's guidelines, we obey out of a love for God and want to follow him daily not because it is what is "right." Where does your pendulum swing? Are you living in an area that forgets the poor and destitute in favor of an obedience devoid of love or do you live loving even the trees but forgetting that obedience is just as important?

2006-01-04T00:08:00.000-05:00

I've had this great need to use lyrics recently in my posts. I don't really know why but I do have it. I think it may be because I haven't listened to what my music is talking about so God said, "I'll show him, and make him pay close attention to everything." Lyrics First, Post after:

I don't want to move and I don't think I could. I don't want to move and I don't think I should. I don't want to move. No, I don't want to move. I don't want to move and I don't think I could. Breathe in deeper now. Breathe in deeper now. Breathe in deeper, breathe in now. The costliest of costs. The deadliest of loss. The wonder of the cross. The breath of life that stops, The hope of Heaven bought. The wonder of the cross. The wonder of the cross. Breathe in deeper now (The wonder of the cross). Breathe in deeper now (The wonder of the cross). Breathe in deeper now (The wonder of the cross). Breathe in now. I don't want to move.

Breathing is this need we all have. Not one of us can be sustained without it. Without air we die and are nothing. Crowder is illustrating how we in our very nature breathe in the cross. Christ Jesus and the cross are the two things that keep us from hell but also from a pointless life. Obedience to Christ is to be lived as if it were our sustaining air. When you cry there is this universal breath we all take that one where it's like 4 in one and then you catch your breath for a moment before purging more emotion. Live a life in search of God to the point to where our search of him is so exhausting we breathe him in as a mere consequence of our pursuit. God is the one that will outlive both you and I. If you have a chance go check out David Crowder's new CD, it was the #1 on iTunes when it was released so that definitely tells you the caliber. Well everyone, g'nite!

Two Hard Words.

2005-12-30T21:06:00.000-05:00

Jesus Christ. For me those are two of the hardest words to say. It's easy to say God because it's universal and totally accepted. I can say God all day long and no one cares because it can be anything, any religion, whatever. I've come to fear Jesus though. I can't say it because there are people who have perverted him in such a way that I don't want my association with him associated with their association with him. I'm talking about the people who have so ripped to shreds the true identity of Christ that when they say Christians they mean people who say his name a lot. These people love Jesus and hate others, they say they are the good samaritan and instead they are the robbers who left him for dead.

These people are some of the pastors I've heard (none of my pastors, just others), Christians, and self proclaiming Christians. They stand for eveything Christ is against. Bigotry, idolism, racism, hatred, greed, lust, fear, and perversion of the gospel I hold so dear. At one time I was one of them. I claim it, I said Jesus in the same sentence as shit, I said and did things that so anger me now that I would love to go back and teach myself a lesson.

Some of us, myself included have showed the world everything Jesus is against instead of everything he is for. So today as part of a not-so-new year's resolution I want to say Jesus more. I want to recognize my savior by name. Maybe with time I can say Jesus and show others that the Jesus I serve is radically different than they might have previously been shown.

Purge.

2005-12-26T23:39:00.000-05:00

Purging is getting rid of the excess. It's taking what is not needed and just stripping it from it's source. I love to purge. Not in some bodily function sort of way but to purge in life. I constantly empty the trash can on my computer and am always looking for files to delete. I always am thinking of what I can not eat, as to purge my body of unnecessary things. It's a mindset and impulse that just takes over.

When my demons come back to haunt me at times and win I purge. If I've done the one thing I've sworn not to do then when I take a shower it's this physical outgrowth of my internal guilt. I'm physically trying to wash off the stains I've created. The hardest part of being a Christian is there is no feeling of purging in our lives. There is nothing I can do to purge the sin from my life. Only God can take those things away, only he can extract the sin and guilt from me. Thats hard and relieving at the same time. There is nothing I can do to save myself. Only someone who is perfect can pick me up from my cyclical life of sin and purging.

This is just a little taste of a new favorite band of mine. Read the words and just think about the implications of what is being said.

If God was on the radio i know he'd say to thee, love is spiders on the edge, and we're hanging by a thread, connected to the other end of this twisted frequency i've spun, but i don't care, i'd be happy if you'd share your web with me.

Love the spiders on the edge. Now that is a call to a love and faith that we so often have trouble possessing. Love the spiders on the edge.

2005-12-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

Today...and yesterday.

Well last night we went and saw King Kong and it was stunning visually but it was just so drawn out. Mr. Peter Jackson takes forever to tell a story and sometimes has scenes that just need plain be deleted. Gone vamoos whatever. Today I worked on the video for the Church's christmas thing and it seemed to be well enjoyed by the staff so hopefully it will be a hit for the rest of the congregation. I've been highly out of touch in the past couple of days due to lack of internet. I'm having issues with the Dell at home and I can't use my Mac with the dial up so it's been a real pain but oh well. If you want (and I desperately need) to give to the mission trip for this summer contact me ASAP either at my email address or cell phone. I'm gonna jet, gotta do the Christmas thing...while the rest of Lost downloads!!!

Now.

2005-12-22T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm going. I can't publicly say where but I'm going on a mission trip. I found out that due to security risks I'm not allowed to publicly say where I'm going so I'm sorry for that. But I've been accepted. It's going to be about 1500 + airfare which will be considerably cheaper than Romania. I'm excited about it. The trip says it will be physically demanding in many ways and that makes me even more excited. I want to write more but I'm addicted to lost and I want to watch it until 4 in the morning. So until tomorrow.

Another Days Worth of Life.

2005-12-19T22:53:00.000-05:00

Catalyst has been a great experience for me. I'm not changing churches but I thought I'd mention I love it and that it has changed me in many ways. One thing is that distinguishing insiders and outsiders is a new concept for me. At Catalyst we look out how people outside the church would feel then we evaluate if having such a ministry or event would actively move people towards small groups and if not we most likely don't do it. I love it, there is a methodology to the way things are done. It's not this fly by the seat of your pants kind of thing. The service schedule is down to the minute, there is no guessing what comes next, everbody knows.

I think that small groups are integral to Church life and are a thing of beauty. They should be a part of every church. That's why it was sad to hear from Dorr the other night that the men at First Baptist didn't have small groups anymore. The whole program died. IT DIED!!! A program and functioning part of the church died and no one cried foul? If I lost my small groups I'd start one myself or something. There is a community thing that should go on in a church. For the sake of your convictions and anything spiritual you should fight to have an intimate group of people to share your life with and to just be you. If one of the men from one of those small groups is reading this, call foul. Start your own, do something. Don't let possibly the most important function of a church die.

Bruise the halls.

2005-12-17T23:15:00.000-05:00

I want to see a fist fight, not just any fist fight, but one over a toy or something. A good slug fest beat em' up kind of thing. Why, because I'm tired of all this seasonal we love each other stuff. I think Christmas should be banned or something. It's become this super holiday with all these people running around getting stuff but forgetting why they are here. Look Christmas is not about gifts or anything like that, it's about a savior, sav-ior, SAVE-YOUR (money). Jesus is an afterthought as people go through daily stocking up on gifts that will be returned because the one who was given it doesn't like it. We should next year rebel against the system or something and have new holiday in the summer that is a celebration of Jesus's birth (he was most likely born in the summer you know). We should then at Christmas just enjoy the time off. Enjoy the whole break of school and stuff.

This isn't really some down with the system thing, I'm more nauseated with all this apathy towards true Christmas. Also, a boycott has begun over the "happy holidays" crap. I can't decide whether it's another stupid thing culture has done towards Christians and we should take it or if we should fight back. I'm voting on the take it but there is a point where we need to fight back so I'm not fully sure on that one.

Nobody Loves Me.

2005-12-16T23:20:00.000-05:00

i can always tell a liar
and i always know a thief
i know them like my family
because brother i'm the chief
i'm a dangerous crusader
because i need to tell the truth
so i'm turning over tables
i'm my own living room

then i might nail indictments up
on every door in town
because it's not right or safe to let my conscience down
so i don't care if...

nobody loves me, nobody loves me
nobody loves me but you

the truth is never sexy
so it's not an easy sell
you can dress her like the culture
but she'll shock 'em just as well
because she don't need an apology for being who she is

and she don't need your help making enemies
so i don't care if...

i'll do whatever it takes to squeeze us into this wedding gown
i'll say the words that rattle your nerves
words like sin and faith alone

I'd love to say I wrote that but I'm not that good. Someone I know always talks about how good Derek Webb is and stuff and sometimes I'm like bleh and other times it makes me pull out his mp3 and listen but the more I listen the more I understand what he's getting at. I'm at a point in life where issues like calvinism and armenianism are coming up and forever they've been these abstract ideas that have no real place in our walk, but now as time passes how do I answer these nagging questions? Webb says it best, "i'll say words that rattle your nerves/ words like sin and faith alone." That's dangerous, because people today at their very core theology can't believe in faith alone. There is something they have to do, some rule to follow or regulation to abide by. Faith alone. Moving towards God is a move towards him in a fashion that disregards the muck of Christianity and sees the truth of grace and faith.

2005-12-14T22:06:00.000-05:00

Musing(s).

I've been thinking recently about scarring and things like that. Like I had a cut on my arm that was there for a long time and with time it has slowly healed, which is sort of a bummer considering it was a cool looking wound. I wish I got one in Romania to remind me everyday that it changed me. But what about the scars we hide? What about the scars that will forever change our future? As I think about it there is deep scarring in my life, scarring that makes me scared, and makes me worry. Past relationships and the things that happened in them are going to crop up again. There isn't any real question about that. I think that marriage will be hard for me and it will be something that I have to work on. Some of the relational things about dating, courting, or being married scare the crap out of me. I think about being hurt last time and the things that happened and I think am I fixed yet. Then I'm like, is there a "fixed" me? All of it is kind of abstract and nonsensical if you don't fully know what I'm talking about. But for those of you that do, how do you deal with your scars? Also, I think I might buy a nintendo revolution instead of a xbox 360, see I'm kind of interested in this whole joystick move the controller thing and it's going to be in the hundred dollar range!!! I can't believe it, I can save money with video games, who would have thought. Either way, just a little light hearted me stuff in there.

2005-12-13T17:22:00.000-05:00

India here I come. I was officially approved for mission trip this summer, so I'm going. There was a minor discrepancy about whether I could go on the one in India because it might be for sophomores, juniors, and seniors only. She said at that point I'd be a rising sophomore so I might be able to do that one. Well either way I'm now going somewhere! Also King Kong tonight with some friends @ midnight!

2005-12-12T22:37:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day, long but good. I worked all day then came to Shannon's and we went to Summer's (his daughter) choir thing and he was cynical the whole time about how they didn't talk about Jesus but they did talk about other religions. They prayed but apparently didn't mention Jesus, I didn't notice. For a long time I've been a staunch defender of no public prayer in schools, I still hold fast to that. But the issue now arises, where do we as Christians have to say ok too much we will not let it go. I'm not sure yet what I think because it maybe that it is not that big of a deal or it could be a great indicator of where life is headed, I don't know. Our society is post Christian now and it's taken me a long time to come to grips with the fact of that. Somehow I want to accept it as me but think it should be different for everyone else and they shouldn't whine about it. I'm wrong thinking that way but I still do. Another thing that was so well pointed out to me last night was something about money and Christian media. I hate spending that sort of money on things that are so expensive. A 30k camera and 60k center project HD screen and setup. That's a lot of money and I'm thinking missions and how much it could do, but Greg said, "your yourself said Christian media sucked and it takes money to make it not suck anymore." It hit me so hard. I think now I have to think in a mindset that isn't cheap that says, ok spend the money. Also heres a great link about some of the technical achievements North Point Community Church has made.

Buckhead.

2005-12-11T23:20:00.000-05:00

As a group of media people for Catalyst we went to Buckhead in Atlanta today. Buckhead is a campus church of North Point which we recently became a strategic partner of. I saw the whole thing the whole shebang the growth it all. The church started in 2001 and now has 4 services and packs them all out. I got to sit up in the multi hundred thousand dollar video booth and look in awe at all the motion and crazy stuff. I wonder if all the stuff is worth it but I guess to make good media it costs money and that is what it takes. I'm really tired so I'm gonna hopefully continue this tomorrow. Good night guys.

American History X

2005-12-10T18:20:00.000-05:00

What an amazing portrait of racism and hate in our culture. I watched it today (with my headphones on) and it was absolutely amazing. I think that as time goes on more and more God opens my eyes to the true racism in our culture. Edward Norton plays a neo-nazi who does time for the murder of 2 black guys. The movie shows how ignorance, lies, and hatred injure people and society deeply in a major way. I don't want to ruin the movie for you but you need to watch it. Let me give a disclaimer though, extreme language, brutal violence, and some nudity accompanied with about a 2-4 minutes section of sex at the beginning. I know your like my goodness thats a lot of stuff but nonetheless you need to see it. God is really using some of these movies to show me the weight of our racism and discrimination. India and Africa are two areas deeply entrenched in discrimination and I've had people suggest doing some work in Romania again or some other places, but I feeled called to the people that are overlooked and hated without cause. Alright I'm done. O' and one question...do ya'll ever get tired of me and my talking about missions? Cause sometimes I feel like I do it too much. Alright...later.

Unrated.

2005-12-09T23:29:00.000-05:00

The big trend right now in DVD movies is UNRATED!!! It's all about more nudity and sex or just something you didn't see in the theaters. The few "unrated" movies I've watched were nothing more than a little bit of violence here or something like that. I will say I don't think that it would be true in the same way with American Pie.

The great downfall of Narnia in my opinion was it had to cater to kids. I understand why and support it but I wish for a unrated version on DVD. There were parts that lacked the real feel of the magic and war because of the lack of blood and gore. There were one or two parts that were incomplete without the reality of death and blood, I felt a little gipped (jipped?).

Recently a church in Germany made a calendar that depicted erotic scenes from the bible. It was a youth fundraiser (yes youth). When I thought about it I like the idea in that it is uncensored, it sees the bible in it's true form. There were NC-17 parts of the bible and they must be acknowledged. Now not in the form of a bunch of lewd high schoolers being naked for a calendar but we don't need to gloss over the true reality of blood, gore, grace, and sex the bible offers. I wish I knew as a kid that David cut off Goliath's head!

When we approach the bible, approach it with the true story in mind. Look at it and see how it really happened. We need to see the story for it's true reality so we can grasp it's true meaning.

Also here is a link to some funny videos about the misconceptions of Jesus.
vintage21.com
Click on the movie projector and at the top click the number 2. There should be 4 videos. Enjoy.

Narnia.

2005-12-09T02:52:00.000-05:00

Narnia Good. Me Tired.

May the Masses Rejoice.

2005-12-08T12:32:00.000-05:00

Actually there are no masses to rejoice just the mass of me. So I'm going to see a midnight showing of Narnia tonight I don't care if I go by myself screw it I'm going. So hail to the great allegory of Christianity and Christmas movie marketing.

Update.

2005-12-06T22:51:00.000-05:00

No real writings today. School is done and it really bites. I miss the people and hanging out and stuff. I guess at this point it is not an issue because it's not really over but it still bites because I enjoy hanging out with everyone. Well so long for a bit my friends.

Done.

2005-12-06T01:09:00.000-05:00

It is done. The first semester of college is over and it came and went faster than I had hoped. Things have been great. I love where I am in my life and walk. Things are really going well. But I look back over the semester and realize how much I've learned about me and others and how life plays out. I hate to see people leave school and not be able to come back but it's a reality of life. I've loved it and can't wait to love it some more. See ya'll on the flipside. (o' I'll keep posting but I'm justing saying bye to like the 1 NGU person reading)

Silent Screaming.

2005-12-05T11:28:00.000-05:00

When I was in Romania we had to give our team a name and I had the idea from an art project to name our team the silent screamers. It was a play on words that dealt with prayer. We silently pray, screaming to God our life and love. We scream silently and only God can hear our deepest most innermost yearning.

Today I did an activity that just prolongs my grief with my current situation. I sat looking at the YWAM website and seeing all these media missions trips. I long so bad to quit school and just go. I know I can't but in my deepest being that is what calls to me. I love the media and my one desire is to spread the gospel in a culturally relevant and to be honest cool smooth and fancy way. I want to make videos that people go ooo and ahhh over. They look and think dang I wanna meet him. Then I have the chance to share the gospel. I don't have great aspirations to be a great speaker or anything I just like to edit video and make great photos and thats what I want to do.

What do you want to do? What makes you shift in your seat? What makes you want to quit everything your doing and go? Find it. Some of you are adults and have kids, so what happens when they are in college? Why can't you go? What hinders you? Are you being hindered by your own desires and inhibitions or are you not called? If you have felt the call of God to go cut through the BS and find the true calling for your life.

That is what Christ is. He is the ultimate BS cutter. When his word is put to use it cuts through the cultural crap and lies so you can see the truth. Apply the same sword and filter to your life. Cut through all the personal wants and desires to find the inner most calling of your life. There isn't a formula or exact answer, it's a "What do I love doing and how can I serve God doing it."

Taking it into our Own Hands.

2005-12-03T20:26:00.000-05:00

Tonight I watched "Walking Tall" with the Rock. He plays Buford Pusser a retired war hero who comes home to a town that was once great. Now the town lays in shambles wreaking with alcohol, drugs, sex, and a casino. After a tussle with the casino he takes the law into his own hands and becomes sheriff. Throughout the movie he just beats on people for what they have done. He stood up, walked tall, and did what was right.

Now I'm not advocating violence in any fashion but look at the movie. It's the perfect example of our walk. So many times we take it laying down and not doing anything. Why not get up stand up, walk talk, and do something. Why can't we be like the warriors in the Bible? I want to be like David in battle or Moses parting the sea. I want to be a warrior and sold out person to what God has for me and his people. Don't take the world lying down stand up for what you believe in a manner that is strong and bold. Don't be afraid of who and what God has made you.

Bands.

2005-12-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to give a small link to a picture that has 75 bands in it. A very cool concept, a little lewd sometimes but cool. See if you can find some.

http://www.chinternet.co.uk/75bands.jpg

--
Ryan Stone
www.sharkmaul.blogspot.com

3 Types.

2005-12-01T21:01:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna guess there are 3 types of people in the world.

The first, the Christian. The one that got saved when he was 3 and hasn't known anything else. He's passive and docile. He has not tasted the true God ever and there is no life. It's dead. It's laying down and taking it and not fighting back. They are the Jonah's the ones who haven't tasted God in a raw way.

Then the broken. The one who came to know God and live in him but is so beaten down that God greatness and their present situation don't match. There seems to be a breakdown in the system and they fell through the cracks in God's plan. These people just need a hand up and a way out. They are the prophets or the Davids.

Then those who have tasted it. The pure, raw, and passionate love of God. There is only one thing that can happen to live a life of God with God in a way that is God. These people are hindered by the drag or the society. They live passionately in God for God. And that is all that matters to them. God is there now and forever. They are the Pauls.

I don't know where you are but don't look to rules or formulas pill or prescriptions or anything that can "fix" it. Just go and be God child. Don't be searching for his will, if you are with God then it will be obvious it will present itself. Live wildly.

Oddities late @ Night.

2005-12-01T00:58:00.000-05:00

I'm studying and I get a call at like 12:30. Normal but it's a phone operator relay messages typed....it was for my roommate. First she wants him and I say he's not here then she wants to talk to me. I'll humor her a moment, but not after what she said. She was saying I could study her body and crap. I was like I'm hanging up now.

But now that it is over I want to talk, to her and see what motivates her to debase herself like that. And to apologize to the operator who was relaying the messages for having to hear it. If you are a girl reading this do not go for these things. A christian guy if he has issues should want to clean them up, do not perpetrate them. Dress modestly, be a woman of God. That is what I'm looking for not some girl or piece of meat. I shudder at the pure objectification of women in that way. I want a woman that will stand up for her rights and be bold. I'm not saying I'm the big wuss but I want a woman who is strong, none of this weak sissy stuff. Be strong, impress me, show me that your walk with God is honored over anything else. Yes it sucks taking a back seat to anyone but there isn't anyone else I'd rather take a backseat to than God.

Don't be afraid to put your foot to the throat of a man's sin. If he look at a girl call him on it. This may sometimes result in some adverse effects like upset friends, but you are doing the right thing. Be strong.

Beating it into Submission.

2005-12-01T00:10:00.000-05:00

This whole studying thing really bites. I have 4 exams on Friday and one tomorrow. I'm gonna be up late studying and studying tomorrow. I'm going to get to go to the game on Saturday which makes me insanely excited. I'm so stoked. But I've got to study.

Beating the knowledge into my brain...

Seeing what is Next.

2005-11-30T00:31:00.000-05:00

This is one of my favorite passages:

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

How wicked awesome is that. He's saying look all those are the ingredients and just add more to each one. It's like I think I've said a while back, each characteristic of being a Christian cannot exist without the other characteristics. You can't be just obedient if you don't love people, you can't love people if you are unkind, you can't be effective if you are unproductive in knowing God. There is a big difference between knowing the bible and knowing God. If your quiet time is 2 worship songs bible reading spend at least 3 worship songs in prayer. Know his word and you will know what he has done, spend direct time with him and know who he is.

Also please pray for me, today was kind of rough, I will not disclose why just please pray. I love you guys and girls. I pray that somehow the words I write reach out to each of you.

Watch "What Old People Do For Fun..." on Google Video

2005-11-29T23:47:00.000-05:00

Your friend, sharkmaul@gmail.com, has sent you the following video from Google Video and included this message:

Click to watch: What Old People Do For Fun...

Description: This is just a funny video that was sent to me in my email.

Want to see more cool videos? Go to video.google.com
Think you have an even cooler video? Add it at upload.video.google.com

If you're having trouble watching the video, try copying the following URL into your browser: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8735889757702013026&q=what+old+people+do+for+fun&pr=goog-sl

Seeking the Seeker.

2005-11-28T23:07:00.000-05:00

I'm a firm believer in the seeker sensitive church. I think it is by far the best type of church there is. If we give the world a situation where they are invited to come in and feel welcome then we have accomplished the first step on helping them to see Christ.

Sunday my pastor in Cheraw made a comment that was something to the effect of, "You Sorry Sinner!!" There were some other things after that but I missed them because I was totally stunned at what he'd just said. In his defense that was unusual for him to do but nonetheless he did it. I thought I'm glad I didn't bring anyone today because I want them to feel welcomed not hated on. I want to know for sure that what is said in Sunday morning praise services is something I can bring anyone to. It needs to be seeker sensitive.

Our lives need to be seeker sensitive and we need to live forgiving. Something I feel strongly about is obedience and people get the misconceptioin that we are about the "Don'ts" but in fact we are about the "Do's" see the don't come out of God's love not his wrath. He is protecting us. He loves us and wants us to not be hurt. Obedience is not about rules but about a desire to follow God's best plan for your life. So live obediently and seeking the seekers. Those are like the 2 big things in life.

Grow up.

2005-11-21T07:46:00.000-05:00

Recently infighting in my house has started. All year a group has been growing tighter as they form sort of an anti-ryan's roommate group. Tonight I came home and all the doors were locked in the house and they wanted a password. Childish yes but still fun. But when I found out they had started a group on facebook that was "lock boo-boo (my roommate) out" I walked out of the room in frustration.

Earlier in the week Thomas had $90 stolen from him and most of the house blamed boo-boo. Now there's a big difference between blaming a missing candy bar on someone and blaming $90. I told them to shutup about it.

What's happening is this group is working hard to undo the work I'm trying to do. God is laying heavily on my heart that I'm to pray for him, minister to him, love him, and do whatever to show him the love of God. As I do this and worry about it day by day I come home to see those who claim to be Christians driving him away because of some missing forks or drinks or things like that. Now, I'm not saying he's harmless and has never done anything, there have been days where he gets on my nerves but I'm sorry this is getting out of hand.

We have got to look at the situation through the eyes of unbelievers and think about effectiveness. To be effective we must love our people with an attitude that goes beyond petty stolen candy.

Grow up.

Unnacceptable.

2005-11-17T23:22:00.000-05:00

This is unnacceptable.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/11/17/BUGB3FPGT01.DTL&type=tech

Obedience.

2005-11-16T11:47:00.000-05:00

Why do we have the "law?" What is the purpose of a law that God gives. During my quiet time....I think back in Romans Paul talks about how the law exist to show us just how screwed up we are. The original intention of the law was to give us just a glimpse at how flawed we really are.

I think there is that and it's true but it's also protection. God has given us the law to help us not fall into traps. See God's not a kill joy, he's just watching after us. He's saying don't stick your hand in a light socket. We wouldn't do that and we think he's being a kill joy when we can't do those things.

Those two things said, look at your life. Your obedience is wanted because God wants you to understand just how fallen you are and how much you need him. You need him daily. Your and my obedience is necessary because we then stay out of harm and can follow him daily and not have long over arching effects of sin.

Be obedient in everything you do.

Holes.

2005-11-15T00:09:00.000-05:00

A man walks down the street and falls in a hole and gets out.
The man walks down the street and sees the hole but, falls in the hole again.
The third time he walks down the street sees the hole and falls in the hole again but remembers where the hole is.
The fourth time he walks around the hole.
The fifth time, he picks another street.

How many times have you fallen in the hole? Where are you?

Public Relations Director for Christianity.

2005-11-14T23:22:00.000-05:00

Christianity needs a public relations director. We need someone to accurately represent our beliefs so that the world can see the real ones from the fakes. I hate that Christianity is defined by the actions of Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell. When they open their mouth it seems Christianity is represented by every word. I don't want them to represent me. I want a new PR director who knows what he is doing and can represent us in a fashion that is true to what we really believe.

Public relations is something we need to work on daily. If you get a chance pay attention to how you represent God and his people tomorrow, does your speech and attitude reflect Christ's love?

Butchering of our Image.

2005-11-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

I'm a very picky photographer, I'm so picky recently I almost sent a cease and desist disorder to a website. My high school used my photos without my permission and honestly they butchered them. They took photos that I enjoyed and was respected for and slaughtered every bit of decent photography. The entire website wreaked of the stench of bad design and my photographs butchered to pieces.

How many times does God look at us and say the same thing? We are created in his image and he sees us his own creation walking around killing ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are butchering the perfect image God created by letting the sin he so deeply despises creep into our lives. One way that most notably stands out to me is people and the way they dress and present their bodies. I think that that is a prime example of us destroying God's plan for the most surface of things, our physical image.

Also, I gotta link for ya. Take that you evil people...pssh. Man I hate stupid Christians.

Living like a Servant.

2005-11-10T20:22:00.000-05:00

I still remember the deep red clay and tiny rocks digging into my knees. People stood on my back as my hands and knees were driven into the deep Texas dirt. Pain coursed through my body as I let people stand atop my back during training for Romania.

I had to write a paper for class and as I recounted the experience I realized that we learn through servanthood. See I was so lonely when I landed in Texas, I knew no one and they all seemed to know each other. The entire first day I was like, "what in the world did I get myself into." All that time and I'd screwed up. I woke up the next morning and had to get ready for training and what you read was what happened. I went from being lonely to having a family that would last a month and live in my heart for a lifetime.

Through being a servant God will look and say, "he is mine and I love him." It took me 6 months to realize how God had worked in that day but he did and that is what mattered. No matter what you do, by being a servant God is going to look at you and know that you are there serving and giving up yourself for him and there will be rewards for that. But, like I say a lot, his rewards will not be the kind you are looking for...they are the kind you need. He probably won't give you money, he'll give you love, he won't give you a 1000 friends, he'll give you one to witness to. God's rewards are not our rewards because he will reward you in a way that will glorify him, because that is your purpose, our purpose.